pwitty bad yeoh(pretty bad year with no Rs)

in all likelihood, the end of my year as MDG (most disappointing golfer) ends this month, competitively speaking. you cant go back to back years as biggest dissapointment..cus year two nobody expects anything from you..anyway..to end the season i am playing in an event this weekend to benefit a charity for the less fortunate. the less fortunate group being the louisiana tech golf team. they say 'you gotta give if you want to receive.' so i am giving...i am prepared to write a check for up to $100,000.thats right. i will give $100/mile that each golfer jogs backwards, wearing water skis. "how can you make such an enormous offer?" you ask. well i am confident that these golfers are too lazy to put forth the effort. i mean the money is out there, but no one is willing to go get it. it is the difference between winners and losers. anyways..my offer stands. i digress... constantly..its kind of my thing...

to close out my season of glaring mediocrity i want to post some emails between some of my friends and foes. that i believe are worth a read.

sweet river ray:

I just wanted to make everyone aware that Bradley and Jamie were the Champions of the Second Major of the year The Ruston Invitational. The first day was a decent starting day for the two Rustonites they shot a 4 under 68. They were paired with Owen Jean and Lance Hall which is like being paired with Tiger Woods in a Professional Major Championship. Bradley was on top of his game on Saturday shooting a 2 under par 70, which was described by Lance as “The Best Ball Striking Day he has ever seen”. Jamie on the other hand did not have such a day on Saturday but hung in there and helped on a few holes. Sunday was a different story however. There was much talk on the Driving Range that the Walker / Roberts pairing had no chance due to a late night in T Town. That was not the case as many of the BBQ tour members thought that day. Jamie was in his traditional Sunday Bucket hat and was ready. The team got off to a decent start making a few birdies. They find them self’s tied for the lead with two holes to go and proceed to birdie both of them to win by 2. Walker very emotional after the tournament said it was a great win for the long time friends and 1st Major victory for the team. Jamie said the win was the best Fathers Day gift he could ask for.

brad pullin warning:

When is the next major. The question still remains will Roberts and Walker be another Shaun Micheel('ner to be seen or heard from again?)

my humble response:

..I have toured with both of these fine golfers only to come up short again and again..they had to cut dead weight to take down the 2nd and I must say least celebrated of the BBQ majors.. Its kind of like in BLOW when George Jung sets up a huge deal only to find that the people he trusts, stab him in the back.. I mean it hurts and all but atleast he was banging Penelope Cruz.. You can't worry about that though.. I am like cole trickle(also hit p Cruz)..I am learning now that rubbin is racin and all is fair. Or maybe you guys are like Robert Johnson(blues musician) that sold his soul to the devil in exchange for success.. I fear the worst.. Maybe I am a dime a dozen..like Molly ringwald in breakfast club..man do I sound a lot like eeyore(winnie the pooh).. Actually I probably sound more like the cable guy living my life through fictional characters.. "soon you can play mortal combat with your friend from Vietnam".. I am rambling like tom hanks does in his emails to Meg Ryan in you've got mail.. Long story short like we all wish HEAT would have been(great but too long) I got punk'd like j timberlake.. So like Bruce Willis(armagedon) I am doing what is right and stepping out for the sake of humanity and giving you guys no choice but to stay together for me.. I will wonder the earth like cain and build a new army to fight through the BBQ tour_with no emotional attachments that if the heat walks around the corner I can walk away from in 30 seconds and never look back...so like rabbit I say f the free world and like vin diesel Im goin live my life a quarter mile at a time... Like wes Clark says(who is as much a fictional character as anyone in this thing) f them dudes.. Its me against the world.