AiDeD by A.D.D.

FIRST OFF.. WE ARE BACK IN OCRE AND RIPPING BASSTIN..
I CURRENTLY HATE THE RED SOX MORE THAN UNIVERSITY OF ARKANSAS
i was tested for ADD once when i was in 5th grade. they put me in a room with plain white walls, one pencil, one chair, and a test. it was decided that day that i didn't have the condition. i passed the test in a room full of nothing to distract me. leave me one extra pencil or pink pearl eraser and i bomb that thing like Baghdad. plus the test was kind of difficult, which holds my attention. make it easy or boring and i finish about 40% of it..tops. think of it this way..a very talented drunk person can pass the field sobriety test.... so passing the test doesn't make them sober..it just shows their coordination..such is the case with me..i feel that an attention aid medicine might make me a more effective worker, tester, communicator, but definitely not blogger. the spirit of this blog is that you have no idea why but each thought abandons the last with no regard for flow. which is in itself..a new flow.. a rhythm to which no teacher, writer dare give praise. it is purely thought on paper. that is why for me, it is good. editing would bore me.. and i would blog even less frequently.

FANS ILLUSION

Facial hair. tobacco. mean streak. the truth about professional sports is ignored by the fans. i think it is ignored on a case-by-case standard. take the world series red sox.."Cowboy Up!" they said. this cry came from their bearded burly faces, dripping with tobacco spit and anger. it sold a lot of t-shirts and built them into this hard-working blue collar team. really? really variteck? those junior varsity goatees made you all tough, red neck, and blue collar? its kind of like America was tricked since the turn of the millennium in to thinking that being unclean makes you tougher or more American. when did flat tops and clean cut faces go from all-American to pretty boy pansy? don't get me wrong, a good nasty ungroomed beard makes me grit my teeth, spit, cuss, and grunt but these are very wealthy city men dressing up in tight pants and trying to trick us into thinking this is just a game they play, and that they will leave the ball park go home check on the horses and nestle in to their farm house for a nights rest before tending to the crops and chickens at dawn and branding cattle by noon. they are for the most part millionaire posers who leave in their range rovers, & escalades to their suburb homes to have a few cocktails & wind down. please do not misunderstand me. i am not bitter, and i am not saying that these guys are not hard working but the illusion is that they are any different than the clean shavin Yankees in the other dugout...they are the same except that they are not nearly as successful or good at their jobs as most of the Yankees. paychecks in sports are the weirdest paychecks in just about any business. if you are good you get a raise ever couple years(gay-rod, manny, pedro martinez) as well one should.. BUT if you used to be good the texas rangers will sign you to a contract for the great things you did in the past with huge expectations for you but no consequence if you end up sucking(long list but chan-ho, asosymmas). if you suck to begin with the A's sign you and make you good and then sell you to someone else where you'll suck again(everyone for 10 years).. if you really suck but dont want to let it go you can play for peanuts in the minors or go to japan where you have no choice but to be good or they will kill you(chris farley, & the man the myth the mustache..mr baseball himself, tom "P.I." Selick.)

about owners.. people dont buy popular sports teams to become rich.. rich people buy sports teams to become popular... that is why owners are like drug junkies.. in other words.. players get more and more money because if the talented players stop playing... the game goes away with it.. but if the owners just stopped paying the talented players..a new league would start in three days that would pay A-ROD 200 grand an at-bat and millions would watch because the owners need each specific player.. there is always a billionaire hoping to start the next new york franchise... but cant nobody can play shortstop for the yanks like jeter.

stay classy new york...
thanks for stopping by...
but most of all stay classy

GOTTA GIVE EM WHAT THEY WANT

pwitty bad yeoh(pretty bad year with no Rs)

in all likelihood, the end of my year as MDG (most disappointing golfer) ends this month, competitively speaking. you cant go back to back years as biggest dissapointment..cus year two nobody expects anything from you..anyway..to end the season i am playing in an event this weekend to benefit a charity for the less fortunate. the less fortunate group being the louisiana tech golf team. they say 'you gotta give if you want to receive.' so i am giving...i am prepared to write a check for up to $100,000.thats right. i will give $100/mile that each golfer jogs backwards, wearing water skis. "how can you make such an enormous offer?" you ask. well i am confident that these golfers are too lazy to put forth the effort. i mean the money is out there, but no one is willing to go get it. it is the difference between winners and losers. anyways..my offer stands. i digress... constantly..its kind of my thing...

to close out my season of glaring mediocrity i want to post some emails between some of my friends and foes. that i believe are worth a read.

sweet river ray:

I just wanted to make everyone aware that Bradley and Jamie were the Champions of the Second Major of the year The Ruston Invitational. The first day was a decent starting day for the two Rustonites they shot a 4 under 68. They were paired with Owen Jean and Lance Hall which is like being paired with Tiger Woods in a Professional Major Championship. Bradley was on top of his game on Saturday shooting a 2 under par 70, which was described by Lance as “The Best Ball Striking Day he has ever seen”. Jamie on the other hand did not have such a day on Saturday but hung in there and helped on a few holes. Sunday was a different story however. There was much talk on the Driving Range that the Walker / Roberts pairing had no chance due to a late night in T Town. That was not the case as many of the BBQ tour members thought that day. Jamie was in his traditional Sunday Bucket hat and was ready. The team got off to a decent start making a few birdies. They find them self’s tied for the lead with two holes to go and proceed to birdie both of them to win by 2. Walker very emotional after the tournament said it was a great win for the long time friends and 1st Major victory for the team. Jamie said the win was the best Fathers Day gift he could ask for.

brad pullin warning:

When is the next major. The question still remains will Roberts and Walker be another Shaun Micheel('ner to be seen or heard from again?)

my humble response:

..I have toured with both of these fine golfers only to come up short again and again..they had to cut dead weight to take down the 2nd and I must say least celebrated of the BBQ majors.. Its kind of like in BLOW when George Jung sets up a huge deal only to find that the people he trusts, stab him in the back.. I mean it hurts and all but atleast he was banging Penelope Cruz.. You can't worry about that though.. I am like cole trickle(also hit p Cruz)..I am learning now that rubbin is racin and all is fair. Or maybe you guys are like Robert Johnson(blues musician) that sold his soul to the devil in exchange for success.. I fear the worst.. Maybe I am a dime a dozen..like Molly ringwald in breakfast club..man do I sound a lot like eeyore(winnie the pooh).. Actually I probably sound more like the cable guy living my life through fictional characters.. "soon you can play mortal combat with your friend from Vietnam".. I am rambling like tom hanks does in his emails to Meg Ryan in you've got mail.. Long story short like we all wish HEAT would have been(great but too long) I got punk'd like j timberlake.. So like Bruce Willis(armagedon) I am doing what is right and stepping out for the sake of humanity and giving you guys no choice but to stay together for me.. I will wonder the earth like cain and build a new army to fight through the BBQ tour_with no emotional attachments that if the heat walks around the corner I can walk away from in 30 seconds and never look back...so like rabbit I say f the free world and like vin diesel Im goin live my life a quarter mile at a time... Like wes Clark says(who is as much a fictional character as anyone in this thing) f them dudes.. Its me against the world.

THIS DAY MAY COME

an important exercise for man to put himself through, is that of appointing roles in his armed forces. i day dream on this and discuss it with like-minded people. the scene i put myself in is that of america after some sort of natural disaster wipe out. i limit it to this, because i hate to consider the thought of wipe out by warfare, which would probably result in hostile take-over. currently, our country has been made small by airports, cell phones, and over-night shipping. the scene is america stripped of such conveniences. ideally i begin the recruitment years or at least months before the mayhem, but even before recruiting i decided on a rendevu. this first because in the case of being cut off of communication.. my men must already know where to be. first option, which was actually decided in childhood(my brother(s) found it fitting) was the arch in st, louis. as plan B consider Land Between the Lakes in Kentucky/tennessee...plenty of trees there to build shelter, a lake for food, and a surrounding area that currently prohibits hunting(abundance of food). assuming that i have time before the fall out, my recruiting starts with contacting my leaders. government, in my scenario would be of very little immediate importance, so i would start with what i know. there are some great minds in sports that i believe could be of great value in my NWO(new world order)

i am not obsessed with it being my NWO but since i am the only non-psychopath making such a plan, i consider myself an appropriate administer. plus i would have a kick ass beard if america as we know cease to exist, which i argue..matters as much as anything. people listen to guys with beards(ie bob vila, and the oxy-clean guy)

leaders:

nfl coaches(gameplanners)

major applewhite(winner)

billy bean(savvy)

elite forces:

vick(Total Package)

shaq(i wont even say)

vlad guerroro(arm)

favre(arm)

lance armstrong(endurance&strength)

neon deion(i wont even say)

me(good for the team& intangibles) that is what you say when there is nothing nice to say.

beneath the st. louis arch, you will find a grassy area fit for wiffle ball. meet there and bring your friends that can help the rise. or just stay where you at and worry about you and yours. if you know any of these individuals i mentioned...tell them to visit my blog or beep me 911.

this plan was not very well thought out and that is why i have contacted rivals.com to rank every person in america based on signifigant attributes that we can use in this time. BY THE WAY...i started writing this a while back before i knew about I AM LEGEND a will smith movie about a similar thing... if only he had known...He would have had everyone meet at yankee stadium or the arch in THE LOU!!!